From a very young age, I remember feeling like an outsider—never quite landing in any specific box. I wasn’t rich enough to be “popular,” not athletic enough to be a jock, and definitely not brainy enough to be elbowing my way toward valedictorian status. I wasn’t failing at life—I just sort of… existed. Parallel to everyone else, but never quite with them.

And honestly? It didn’t bother me much.

I was content being a loner. Not lonely—just often alone. Doing my own thing. Vibing quietly on the outskirts. That is, until I found my people.

I remember our first meeting clearly. It was in a small-town youth center called The Shire (yes, like Lord of the Rings—already a green flag). I loved that place immediately, and even more so, I loved the people I met there. Those friends walked with me through dark seasons and bright celebrations, through the awkwardness of puberty and the clumsy transition into adulthood.

They were my pseudo-rebel misfits. My safe place. My grounding force.

Some of them are gone now—lost to time, distance, circumstance, and a few untimely heartbreaks that still ache if I sit with them too long. Even so, I will always claim them as my people. They spoke my language. They saw me. They were the ones I trusted with my truest self.

As life tends to do, the years carried me forward. I cycled again between existing solo and then—almost magically—finding new people. New circles. New connections that filled in the spaces left behind.

Each time it happened, it mattered.

These relationships rooted me. They helped me step more fully into my wholeness. They became part of my becoming.

And that’s the point.

We are meant to seek out these connections—these soul-level relationships that support us and remind us who we are. You’ll know you’ve found your people when you feel safe enough to be fully yourself. No performance. No shrinking. No fear of judgment or rejection.

Your people are your constants through the highs and the lows. Some will stay for a lifetime; others will come for a season. Both matter. And whether you have one person or a whole crew, having your people changes everything.

So when you find them, hold them close. Honor the circle of trust and friendship you’ve built together.

Because these are your people—and you are theirs.

And for better or worse, we need our people now more than ever.

This blog post is dedicated with love and fond memories to my Shire crew Shawn, Danny, Bubby, Stan, Rich, Lisa, Michelle, Candy, Julie, Sandy, Tammy, Kaboobie, and for any names I missed. Forgive me it’s been a long, long, time but thank you for being me people! 

With Love & Support,

Coach Carol

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