But What Can I Do? Navigating Social and Political Change While Supporting Our Own Personal Development

Okay, folks, I really want to talk about and address the elephant 🐘 that has been sitting in the room during my coaching sessions for the past 18 months or so. However, I do want to start this conversation with a bit of clarification. Coaching, as a professional practice, is not in any way a form of medical therapy. I would never, and will never, work outside the scope of my practice as either a professional coach or a registered nurse.

Having said that, in the coaching world, our sessions often involve a deep dive into self-introspection, self-awareness, and self-reflection. Some of these sessions can bring up very raw personal, professional, social, and even political feelings and experiences that may impact my clients’ forward progress or, in rare cases, stall their progress altogether.

One of the more prominent themes I am seeing more often than ever, in fact, involves clients expressing feelings of helplessness about the world around them. I have had a significant number of clients voice concerns about how they can focus on their own needs when there seems to be an unprecedented level of external social need to be more concerned with. It is almost as if they feel guilty for having their own needs, problems, or desires.

Consequently, I have had clients stop their sessions abruptly because of the overwhelm they felt from all the external chaos they were witnessing. The same question has come up again and again: “But what more can I do?” Others have asked, “How can I focus on myself when there is so much uncertainty about the future?” or “Will any of this even matter in one, five, or ten years?”

I have heard this so often that I wanted to address it more broadly and offer an honest assessment from my perspective as a coach, a nurse, a mom, a grandmother, and a community member.

This has been one of the most challenging times in my coaching career and in my nursing career; full stop. So, I want to address this topic with respect, kindness, and honesty, without the sugar-coating effect that “toxic positivity” can sometimes produce. You all know me by now: I do not sugarcoat difficult truths. I believe in speaking honestly because that is often the most compassionate way forward.

So here is the short answer: you are here doing this work on yourself because, quite frankly, you matter. Yes, it is that simple. Your pain, your joy, and your personal growth and development continue to matter, even in the face of social and political uncertainty.

You still have to work. You still have to pay bills. You may still be completing your education, opening a business, or simply trying to keep living your life with purpose. This is not the end. It is not hopeless, and you still have the power and ability to achieve your goals without needlessly holding on to self-imposed guilt. Suffering serves no meaningful purpose here. Remember what I said in last week’s “Coach Carol Speaks” video: “Your participation is not always required.”

Being aware of what is transpiring around us is important, and wanting to help and support others is a critical part of retaining our values and our humanity, especially in the face of social unrest and what feels like an uncertain future. But my question to you is this: what good can you do within your own community if you do not start by tending to your own needs first?

If community involvement, social engagement, or the betterment of others is what you desire, then there is no better place to begin than with your own development. The truth is, the people leading change right now and lifting their voices are often those who have done the work you are doing now.

They have developed effective communication skills to articulate their positions. They have practiced interpersonal skills so they can communicate and connect with diverse audiences. They continue to do the internal work needed to organize, coordinate, and grow social movements within their communities. They are modeling the change they want to see.

The fact is, learning whether externally gained or internally acquired is a continuous process. It is lifelong, and its presence and value in our lives do not change simply because the climate of our external world changes. We all still need to find healthy, productive ways to grow and develop, even in spite of what is happening around us.

And not to sound cliché, but it is true what they say: “We need to be the change we want to see in the world.” If we are not willing to become part of the change, then nothing truly changes. The fact is, the world needs you. Not only does it need you, but it needs the very best version of you.

So, if you are currently feeling stagnant, questioning the validity of your own development, or asking yourself, “But what can I do?” here are a few suggestions to help clarify your purpose and your place in this moment:

Get involved. Find a cause, group, or community with shared interests, goals, values, and ideas where you can build connections and offer support.
Step away. Put down your phone and step away from your computer when you need to. It is neither healthy nor productive to stay continuously tethered to the external noise of the moment. While it is important to stay informed, it is also vital for your mind, body, and spirit to take moments to detoxify your feeds and reconnect with your immediate surroundings.
Do the work. Keep moving forward and never stop working on yourself. Your goals and the pursuit of those goals are just as valid and important as the problems of the world. In my humble opinion, the work you are doing now for yourself is even more important to what comes next as we continue to build our future communities together. The fact of the matter is this: you cannot help and serve others well if you do not first learn how to care for and support yourself. Period.

For what it is worth, I, too, have pondered many of these same questions over the past several weeks. There have definitely been days when I have questioned the validity of carrying forward with my own goals, especially when there is so much negativity around me. However, what I found myself doing more often than not was actively and intentionally taking a moment to pause, breathe, and consider the alternatives.

Would I simply sit and worry, or would I continue to do what I do best? And what I do best, or so I have been told, is care for my clients and my community in the best way I know how: by sharing my time, my energy, and my knowledge with them, and, moreover, by continuing to motivate them, support them, and help them become the best versions of themselves.

It has been an easy choice for me because I have chosen the latter and I see it as the best way forward for my own goals and, yes, for self-preservation. My hope is that you, too, will continue to choose growth and development over sadness and stagnation, because contrary to popular belief, stagnation will not yield the results you deserve. And my beauties, you deserve so much more. Please know that 😊.

Coach Carol

Good Read Suggestions:

Okay, so do not just take it from me. Here are a few books I highly recommend, especially if you are interested in building both resilience and community during this time of social change and political uncertainty. Happy reading 📖!